Wow... we are married now :)
This is awesome!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Monday, December 3, 2007
A Burden to God? (How Christ Loves the Church...)
[Heather]
Do you ever feel like you are a burden to people or to God?
Call me crazy, but God and I had a conversation during Thanksgiving break about this.
It came up because Sean and I were talking one night about how I was feeling like I was a burden to him and didn't want to be...
There came a point where Sean prayed for me and then in perfect timing left me to be with Jesus for a while.
Here's an excerpt from our conversation:
"Do you feel like you are a burden to Me?"
>yes<
"How could you be?"
*I so appreciate how patient God is with us and how He takes the time to ask us questions that He already knows the answers to... He listens to us even though He already knows far more than we could even think we do... Thank you Father.*
"A man is to sacrifice for his bride the same way Christ sacrifices for His Church. There are times when the Church must sacrifice, many small things for a-the greater joy, but they are each in response to the love first shown [the Church].
This is why the man is to initiate the pursuit-why he is the one to protect, to fight for; to provide for. I have created him for the specific purpose of showing My nature toward a woman-the woman of his choosing, his wife, his bride; his joy and delight.
I created him for this. By not allowing him to fulfill this role; this nature, you deprive Me the witness and yourself the love. Don't deprive Me of My glory. He is my glory as you are his. Without this, people would not understand..."
He went on to explain how this relationship... even these beginning stages of romance are for the specific purpose of exemplifying the Gospel.
God is so good...
And I am so grateful...
Thank You Jesus for choosing me to be part of Your Bride...
For loving me...
For caring for me...
And for providing this example of You in a man who loves and is passionate about You...
...Thank You...
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Attacks and Triumphs
[sean]
I have so enjoyed the Lords guidance and wisdom during times when we are blinded to the attacks and manipulations of the enemy.
Heather and I have been deceived.; we had been living with the thought that we are in control when, in reality, we were being only a puppet on a string. The enemy had been dividing us. Instead of praying for the things God has been specifically calling us to pray for (our families, those around us and increased devotion and unity with the Lord) we have been praying for our own needs. Now, before any thoughts come to your minds about how it is "okay to pray for your own needs" and the likes I want to say this, there is nothing wrong with praying for our own needs - except when that is all we pray for and we know God has called us to more. You see, the enemy hit me hard - I wasn't in a place of "doubt" but I was getting so worn down that neither of us were getting healed; it was causing me to loose faith. But the Lord gave me vision and explained to me the works of the enemy.
We are now planing an attack on the strongholds of the enemy's camp. He is going down... but not just "down" he will be destroyed. I was reading in Psalm 18 the other day and the Lord spoke this over me -
31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35 You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
36 You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.
37 I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
38 I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.
39 You armed me with strength for battle;
you made my adversaries bow at my feet.
40 You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foes.
41 They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.
42 I beat them as fine as dust borne on the wind;
I poured them out like mud in the streets.
45 They all lose heart;
they come trembling from their strongholds.
46 The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!
They shall know the truth and the truth shall set them free.
We are not weakling little Christians! We are more powerful than we could ever imagine! God has given us the victory we yearn for!
So we are preparing for a siege - a strategic attack on the strongholds that have been bunkered into our homes for years... but not for much longer.
Date nights are turning into planing nights; prayer time before bed have become times to seek the Lords wisdom in this campaign - and the enemy is ticked off! We have been under such attack since we have seen this - but as with Job - we are only going through this because the Lord is confident that we can handle it and tear the enemy to shreds.
Be in prayer... we are ;)
I have so enjoyed the Lords guidance and wisdom during times when we are blinded to the attacks and manipulations of the enemy.
Heather and I have been deceived.; we had been living with the thought that we are in control when, in reality, we were being only a puppet on a string. The enemy had been dividing us. Instead of praying for the things God has been specifically calling us to pray for (our families, those around us and increased devotion and unity with the Lord) we have been praying for our own needs. Now, before any thoughts come to your minds about how it is "okay to pray for your own needs" and the likes I want to say this, there is nothing wrong with praying for our own needs - except when that is all we pray for and we know God has called us to more. You see, the enemy hit me hard - I wasn't in a place of "doubt" but I was getting so worn down that neither of us were getting healed; it was causing me to loose faith. But the Lord gave me vision and explained to me the works of the enemy.
We are now planing an attack on the strongholds of the enemy's camp. He is going down... but not just "down" he will be destroyed. I was reading in Psalm 18 the other day and the Lord spoke this over me -
31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35 You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
36 You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.
37 I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
38 I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.
39 You armed me with strength for battle;
you made my adversaries bow at my feet.
40 You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foes.
41 They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.
42 I beat them as fine as dust borne on the wind;
I poured them out like mud in the streets.
45 They all lose heart;
they come trembling from their strongholds.
46 The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!
They shall know the truth and the truth shall set them free.
We are not weakling little Christians! We are more powerful than we could ever imagine! God has given us the victory we yearn for!
So we are preparing for a siege - a strategic attack on the strongholds that have been bunkered into our homes for years... but not for much longer.
Date nights are turning into planing nights; prayer time before bed have become times to seek the Lords wisdom in this campaign - and the enemy is ticked off! We have been under such attack since we have seen this - but as with Job - we are only going through this because the Lord is confident that we can handle it and tear the enemy to shreds.
Be in prayer... we are ;)
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
vulnerability
[Heather]
So, I wrote this a while ago but didn’t have a chance to post it. Here ya go…
ˈʌvul·ner·a·ble 
(vŭl'nər-ə-bəl) adj.
nərSusceptible to physical or emotional injury.
Capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
trans·par·ent (trāns-pâr'ənt, -pār'-) adj.
Easily seen through or detected; obvious: transparent lies.
Free from guile; candid or open: transparent sincerity.
Open; frank; candid: the man's transparent earnestness.
can·did (
Frank; outspoken; open and sincere: a candid critic.
Free from reservation, disguise, or subterfuge; straightforward: a candid opinion.
Archaic. clear; pure.
in·ti·ma·cy (ĭn'tə-mə-sē) n.
A close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group
A close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with
Close or warm friendship; "the absence of fences created a mysterious intimacy in which no one knew privacy"
This is a lot harder of a choice to live out than it may seem sometimes.
Sean and I got in a very intense discussion recently… I would not classify it as a fight because of the fact that we were not attacking or fighting each other, however it was a conflict of communication. We worked through it—asked the questions that ripped both of our hearts raw and exposed everything that was inside (pertaining to the subject).
It was really hard, to put it mildly.
Afterwards, I just wanted him to hold me and to cry. And I did cry. A couple of times.
I am realizing more and more how the above are really the center of your relationship between each other. Obviously the center of our relationship is God. Period. He is our Foundation, He is our Reason, He is our Everything. And then there’s this thing called each other. With each other, the center of our relationship—at the very core are these things called being transparent, being vulnerable, being candid, and being intimate. Knowing each other so well that we know when something’s up. Not faking what’s going on, but rather, no matter how much it may sting and hurt and how much you may cry…it’s the process of sharing your life with another person.
It’s good, it hurts, it has it’s perks, you will cry, but it’s all worth it. At the end of the day I have no regrets that someone knows me so well that they can look at me and know that something’s up or that I’m full of joy.
”Don’t settle for peace when you can have fellowship.”
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Communication 101
[sean]
We had a great talk tonight during dinner; how do we like to be communicated to? I know that I am a pretty cut and dry kind of guy; I like to have someone tell me what they are thinking, or tell me what I am doing wrong rather than "beating around the bush".
Sometimes I just need to talk - I don't need any advice or sympathy, just someone to listen. Let me get it all out and I am generally pretty good. Sometimes journaling works for this but I usually have to have a person physically there. Heather has been great with this. I have never been around someone who listens as well as she does!
Being male I also want to fix everything. If you come to me with a problem or something that you are struggling though I want to give you a way to solve the problem. If Heather is sick I want to find out what is causing her to be sick and find a way to battle against that specific illness. When her back is hurting so bad that her arm goes numb I want to rub her back until I can't use my hands if it will make her feel better.
I may not be the typical "guy" but there are still parts of my mind and the way I process that are, overtly, male... and thats okay. Women want to talk it through... men want to take action.
It is interesting learning this stuff now and seeing how much better we are communicating because of it. :)
We had a great talk tonight during dinner; how do we like to be communicated to? I know that I am a pretty cut and dry kind of guy; I like to have someone tell me what they are thinking, or tell me what I am doing wrong rather than "beating around the bush".
Sometimes I just need to talk - I don't need any advice or sympathy, just someone to listen. Let me get it all out and I am generally pretty good. Sometimes journaling works for this but I usually have to have a person physically there. Heather has been great with this. I have never been around someone who listens as well as she does!
Being male I also want to fix everything. If you come to me with a problem or something that you are struggling though I want to give you a way to solve the problem. If Heather is sick I want to find out what is causing her to be sick and find a way to battle against that specific illness. When her back is hurting so bad that her arm goes numb I want to rub her back until I can't use my hands if it will make her feel better.
I may not be the typical "guy" but there are still parts of my mind and the way I process that are, overtly, male... and thats okay. Women want to talk it through... men want to take action.
It is interesting learning this stuff now and seeing how much better we are communicating because of it. :)
Monday, October 1, 2007
Time spent
[sean]
Heather and I are doing great; just wishing we could spend more time together. We see each other at work every day but that doesn't count. We try and get off campus every chance we can get but it is only after the two of us are done with TM that we are going to be able to really develop this relationship. I find it interesting; we are growing so much because of the place we are at here, it has forced us to mature in our relationship very quickly and has been a huge blessing, but at the same time... we are hindered from fully expressing our love for each other. The no PDA thing on campus is good for the interns and it is good to keep our standard as high as it is... but sometimes I just want to hold her... sometimes all she needs is me to hold her... and I can't. God has taught me a lot through that in trusting Him to be her comfort when I can't be.
God is good... I need to trust Him more though.
Heather and I are doing great; just wishing we could spend more time together. We see each other at work every day but that doesn't count. We try and get off campus every chance we can get but it is only after the two of us are done with TM that we are going to be able to really develop this relationship. I find it interesting; we are growing so much because of the place we are at here, it has forced us to mature in our relationship very quickly and has been a huge blessing, but at the same time... we are hindered from fully expressing our love for each other. The no PDA thing on campus is good for the interns and it is good to keep our standard as high as it is... but sometimes I just want to hold her... sometimes all she needs is me to hold her... and I can't. God has taught me a lot through that in trusting Him to be her comfort when I can't be.
God is good... I need to trust Him more though.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Who do I trust?
[sean]
If I can't trust Him... and I can't trust her... who can I trust?
I have found myself in a place where I don't seem to have a solid foundation of trust built in my relationship with God and, therefor, nor do I have it in my relationship with Heather.
I have had a hard time releasing her to do the things God is calling her into because of my own fears and lack of trust in her being able to take care of herself and make good decisions. I am truly sick of this behavior... this sin. I need to destroy these lies before this relationship can really progress; it holds us at a standstill... and when we don't have flow in our relationship it runs the risk of stagnation. I will not have a stagnant relationship!
That simple, but true, verse in Proverbs 3 runs through my mind:
If I can't trust Him... and I can't trust her... who can I trust?
I have found myself in a place where I don't seem to have a solid foundation of trust built in my relationship with God and, therefor, nor do I have it in my relationship with Heather.
I have had a hard time releasing her to do the things God is calling her into because of my own fears and lack of trust in her being able to take care of herself and make good decisions. I am truly sick of this behavior... this sin. I need to destroy these lies before this relationship can really progress; it holds us at a standstill... and when we don't have flow in our relationship it runs the risk of stagnation. I will not have a stagnant relationship!
That simple, but true, verse in Proverbs 3 runs through my mind:
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart
and lean not on your own
understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and he will make your paths
straight."
and lean not on your own
understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and he will make your paths
straight."
Do I really trust Him? If I can't trust Him I can't trust her. I am learning this... slowly... but I am learning this. This isn't one of those "this is how it is done" posts... this is a "here is where I am right now" post. No "answers" to this just yet... but I am sure I will have some wisdom to pour out soon!
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